Road Trip 2009

It's that time of year again...the night before we leave for our road trip. The bags are in the car, the dvd player and video games are charged up, and the mailman is holding our mail. We have a housesitter, so don't get any ideas about short-sheeting our beds and pooping in our toilets while we're gone. Annie and her caretaker will be here watching the homestead.

This year the annual road trip has taken on a new twist. I volunteered to stop and see someone in Myrtle Beach for work, since we would have been passing by anyway. Since I'm going to see him about a panic device, I'm taking one with me (see giant cardboard box in photo below). Since I'm taking a panic device with me, and since I have quite a few followers of my other blog and I don't want to put it on hold for 2 weeks, I decided to do a series of posts about taking my panic device on the family road trip.

You can read the first post here if you're so inclined. I'm going to have to be very careful not to accidentally post on my hardware blog about someone puking in the car, and posting here about the benefits of compression springs in an exit device. That could get ugly.

So we're off around noon tomorrow...first stop - Willow Grove, Pennsylvania.


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Bad Boy

One thing I've learned from being Adlani's mom is never to ask whether he did what he's being accused of. For example, instead of asking, "Did you hit your sister?" (the answer is always an indignant "No!"), I ask him, "How many times did you hit your sister?" ("Just one, but she deserved it!")

So a couple of days ago when I heard about an altercation on the Summer Scene bus, I called Adlani downstairs for his arraignment. After about 10 minutes of various stories and false accusations to get himself out of trouble, Aliya told me the story in great detail.

It apparently had to do with his disregard for the seatbelt rule, and his distaste for being told what to do in general. When Aliya and a very nice 4th-grade boy explained to Adlani that he should wear his seatbelt because he wasn't safe without it, Adlani replied, "Shut up @sshole!" Where does he get that sh!t?? ;-)

When I asked Adlani, "Why did you say 'Shut up @sshole' ?" (instead of "Did you say..."), Adlani's response was, "It was all I could think of."

Yesterday Adlani told me that a kid was picking on him on the bus. I told him that the regular school bus driver didn't allow bullying on her bus, so when he goes to kindergarten she'll deal with it. I said, "But I need you to tell me who's picking on you, like 'Joe Blow said I stink' . " Completely serious, Adlani responded, "Yeah! That's who was picking on me! Joe Blow!"

I can already tell that this year's kindergarten experience will be much different than two years ago. I just hope he doesn't get expelled or set fire to the school. Wish me luck!



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City Hall Concert

Last week we had one non-rainy evening in the midst of the storms, so we headed into Boston to see Eguie Castrillo and his orchestra play in City Hall Plaza. It was SO MUCH FUN!
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We started by stopping at the aquarium just before closing time so we could see the new fur seal exhibit. Then we walked over to Fanueil Hall (via the fountain) for dinner, and then on to City Hall Plaza. There were SO MANY people from school there because Eguie's kids go to our school. The kids had a great time and so did we. We walked back to the car (via the fountain again) pretty late, but it was a beautiful night and Boston was hopping. We stopped to watch a really terrible comedic juggler on the way. Adlani was the only one who thought he was funny, and he was in hysterics. That tells you something right there.
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It was a wonderful evening! Thanks Eguie!

Adlani pointed out how much this shark looked like a Bagelful, and he's right! If I wasn't so lazy I'd go take a photo of one and upload it to prove it, but I am. Lazy.

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Fun With Markers

Adlani and Norah woke up before me this morning, and I should have known something was up because they were playing quietly in Aliya's room. That doesn't happen unless there's something sneaky going on. The first one I saw was Adlani, sporting a pencil-thin mustache (or cat whiskers?) drawn by the artistically-advanced Norah:

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Then Norah showed up with her war paint, which she applied herself. I love the use of multiple colors on and below her bottom lip. She's headed for a career as either a make-up artist to the stars, or working the face-paint booth at the carnival:

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Thank God they weren't permanent markers - they were the ones that smell like various fruits and candies. Although the kids below aren't mine (and put my kids' marker artistry to shame), this widely-circulated picture still cracks me up:

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"Someone's Parked Illegally!" - Part 2

This is a very heavily edited version of the first few minutes of the entertainment at Gayle's birthday party. I knew that Charlie Brown video editing experience would come in handy someday.


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Camel Cigarettes

We have a Camel dart board at camp, courtesy of Brady's former job as a Camel rep. Aliya said to me the other day, "I know why a camel is used to advertise cigarettes! Because camels have brown teeth and so do people who smoke!"

No offense smokers, but I'm hoping that the fear of camel teeth will keep her from becoming a smoker someday.

Crowded Pool - Gross!

I ran across this article about how crowded the pools are in China because of the heat wave there. I don't care how hot it is, there's no way I would get into this pool or let my kids get in. Maybe I just need more personal space than the average Asian, but this looks downright dangerous. Thank God Lana & Larry's ce-ment pond isn't this crowded.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1200986/Is-worlds-crowded-swimming-pool-Thousands-try-escape-Chinas-scorching-heatwave.html
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"Someone's Parked Illegally!"

I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. Seriously. Tonight I went to Gayle's 40th birthday party, which was held at Lana's house. The food was good, the drinks were good, we were having a grand old time...until the um...police officer showed up. When he saw what a good time we were having, the police officer decided to stay for a while and um...entertain us. He was very entertaining. Most of the photos are not fit to publish here, but here are a few reaction shots:








After the festivities, the inquiring minds took the officer into the living room for an exit interview.

Name: PJ
Age: 41!!!
Body Fat: 11%
Frequency of Gigs: 2-3 per week
Gay: No
Girlfriend: No
Day Job: Various (including door & window installer!!)
Wax, Shaving, Laser, or Nair: All of the above
Childhood: Grew up in Mexico City because his father was CEO of the Latin American branch of an American company (he spoke Spanish to prove it)
Education: Phillips Andover Academy, Tulane University (mechanical engineering)
Percent Chance of Hook-Up After a Gig: .001%
Oldest Strip-O-Gram Recipient: 101 years old!

Lana didn't believe his story but Pam and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I honestly believe he was telling the truth. When we asked him how he started in the entertainment business, he said that his father died during his last year of high school, and his mom had breast cancer which metastasized to her brain. She was paralyzed for the last 4 years of her life and he started entertaining to earn extra income in addition to his day job. Sad.
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Chimney Sweep

This morning I knew nothing about chimneys except that I have one, it's made of brick, and Santa squeezes down it annually. Now I know way more than I ever wanted to know. I wish I could go back to chimney-ignorance.

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We've lived in our house for 10 years and we've never done anything to our chimney. Every so often I look out the window of the 3rd floor and see our neighbor's chimney cap, reminding me that we should get one before some homeless animal climbs in.

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Last week a telemarketer called to see if I needed my chimney cleaned. She was the worst telemarketer ever, reading from a script with no enthusiasm for what she was selling, but she said that chimneys should be cleaned once a year and I felt like maybe it was an omen. I didn't want to look back with regret that I didn't have the chimney cleaned and then something bad happened. I still haven't decided what's worse...a telemarketer who won't give up, or one who has given up before I answer the phone, but I took her up on her offer.

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So two guys showed up today. They were very nice, and were driving a truck with the company name painted on the side. But within 15 minutes of their arrival they were already talking about how we need a chimney liner because we have no flue in the upper part of the chimney. He had quite the pitch going, and said that it would cost me $3,000 elsewhere but he would do it for $1,750 if I paid cash and gave him the go-ahead right then. I put the brakes on and told him I'd call him later.

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Meanwhile I called a bunch of other chimney companies and surprisingly, most of them were willing to chat about prices over the phone, as well as the tactics used by this type of company. I have no doubt that we need the liner, and his price was good. But I didn't like being pressured, and when I tried to find out more about the company online, I couldn't really find anything. I left a message for the guy, to say that I was researching his company and needed references. I also called the main number for his company and left a message.

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Surprise, surprise...I haven't heard back from him or from anyone at the main number. So if you know a good chimney sweep, let me know. I'm in the market for a 40' liner.

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"I'm NOT TIRED!!!"

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If You Can't Find it in Brimfield...

...You Don't Need It!!!
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Our camp (Vermont term for "lake house") is about 15 minutes from Brimfield, MA, home of the Brimfield Antique Show. In May, July, and September, 6,000 antique dealers and 130,000 visitors swarm into Brimfield for the week-long show. The show is quite an economic boom for the local area - estimated between 40 and 50 million dollars annually. Along with the 23 people who rent out their yards and fields along the 1-mile stretch of Route 20, there are others who sell parking spaces, food and drinks, delivery services, and even access to their showers. It looks like quite the family affair for some of the dealers...like a camping trip where you're hauling along a truckload of clutter you want to get rid of.
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I love to go, preferably without kids, and this weekend I was able to escape for a couple of hours and go wander around. I wasn't really in the market for anything in particular, so I made it my mission to take pictures of some of the weird stuff I saw for sale.

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Along with lots of furniture and rugs, there were the usual booths of vintage clothing, jewelry, linens, and notions (that's a fancy word for sewing stuff). The second picture shows stacks and stacks of cards full of buttons.

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This guy had THE most amazing collection of musical instruments and sports equipment. The top photo is a pile of marching band helmets in the center, with several sets of bagpipes on the card table, and football pads to the right. Click on any photo to enlarge it...it's like "Where's Waldo?" except with junque.

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There was a headless eagle:

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A REALLY old military diving helmet and boots:

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I have one of these green bottles (Can you imagine transporting all of this stuff to the show?!):

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The window on the bottom was tempting ("Asylum for the Insane - Evaluation Center for Disturbed Men" - I think this belongs on my office door.):

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These carved tusks were gorgeous but out of my league at $2,800 (not to mention that it's against my personal rules to buy wild animal products):

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Sometimes it was the juxtaposition of several items that made them interesting, like this multi-armed deity in the snowshoe section:

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Bird (flamingo?) lawn ornament made from a propane tank:

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My mother had the matching cookie jar to these:

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Ugly giraffe, rocking chicken, and GIANT Frankenstein:

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The Betty Boop collection:

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Glove display forms?

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And for my hardware friends, lots and lots of hardware (I met a member of the Antique Doorknob Collectors of America who loves doorknobs even more than I do.):

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This giant bag of kettle corn was all I bought:

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If you like banjo music, here's a short video about one of the fields, May's Antique Market.
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