Mad Maddie and Mercedes

What would we do with our anger if we didn't have karaoke??

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Tinka Tinka Teeka Ta

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HBD Reece!!

We had a gorgeous day at Honey Pot Hill last weekend for Reecie's 7th birthday party. The highlight was the noise putty in the goody bags. I can't believe that given my preoccupation with farts and other bodily functions I had no knowledge of the existence of noise putty. It's like a little tub of flourescent goo, and when you shove your thumb down into the container it makes an extremely realistic farting noise. How cool is that?



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Beware of the $200 Bill

The next time you're working at the PTO book fair or selling hot dogs for the soccer tournament, watch out for the new Bush bill:

Man Successfully Used a $200 Bill
Posted: Jun. 1, 2007 10:55 a.m.

Updated: Aug. 6, 2007 2:26 a.m.

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HALIFAX COUNTY: North Carolina cops are searching for a guy who successfully passed a $200 bill bearing George W. Bush's portrait and a drawing of the White House complete with lawn signs reading "We like ice cream" and "USA deserves a tax cut." The phony Bush bill was presented to a cashier at a Food Lion in Roanoke Rapids on September 6 by an unidentified male who was seeking to pay for $150 in groceries. Remarkably, the cashier accepted the counterfeit note and gave the man $50 change. In a separate incident involving a different perp, Roanoke Rapids cops Tuesday arrested Michael Harris, 24, for attempting last month to pass an identical $200 Bush bill at a convenience store.

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Mel Gibson!!!

Well, it's not every day you get kicked off a movie set. What started as a normal day took a turn when I arrived to drop Norah off at Lina and Miguel's. Their entire street was lined with 18-wheelers, dressing room trailers, and other vehicles. The police officer turning people away told me that it was a movie shoot. Lina told me that she saw Mel Gibson arrive at about 6:30 a.m., go into the trailer directly across the street from their house, change clothes, and head to the Mass Pike rest area with a bodyguard. The back entrance to the rest area is just down the street from Lina's.

Adlani had a dentist appointment so we couldn't stay and gawk. The Peter Pan bus that hit my front bumper (and kept driving) while trying to turn left temporarily took my mind off Mel Gibson, but only momentarily. When we went back to pick up Norah around 4, a lot of the neighbors were strolling over to check out the movie shoot, so I decided to take the kids over to see what we could see. We saw the cast's lunch leftovers (lobster), the hair and make-up truck (I think Aliya's leaning back toward hairstylist as a career choice), and lots of movie people. We caught a few glimpses of Mel (and his body double) in the parking lot and then a big mean-looking security guy came over and said that if the kids were going to hang out there, they couldn't be "screaming like that." I personally thought it would add some reality to the scene, but I guess not. The kids were stunned into silence and I asked Meanie if he could come over later and shut them up again. The stunned silence didn't last long so when he gave me the hairy eyeball and the head jerk that means "Get those noisy brats out of here before they ruin our movie," I dragged them back to the car.

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I guess I'll have to wait for the movie to see Mel up close and personal. It's called "The Edge of Darkness" and according to one of the support staff we met it's a thriller about a Boston cop. Sounds like a date for Mommies at the Movies.

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Kiss the Moose!

We celebrated Miss Norah's 2nd birthday today at...you guessed it...Bugaboo Creek. Happy Birthday Noo-Noo!!!!!!!!!!!



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Run Forrest! Run!!!!

Even though it's Ramadan and Ben likes to conserve his energy on weekends, I dragged him to Aliya and Adlani's soccer games yesterday so he could see what he needs to work on with them. He spent his youth playing soccer daily and it's a crime if he doesn't pass those skills on to the kids. It was Adlani's first game with the new U6 (Under 6) Fireballs. He has Aliya's coach from last year and is on the same team with Griffin and Noah. I'm hoping that he eventually catches on, but I think there's a good chance he will end up in the marching band. Aliya played goalie and due to the skills of the Absolutes she had plenty of time for hair-twirling and wedgie-picking, and they remain undefeated after 2 games. Hopefully Ben will be taking full advantage of the official soccer net in our next-door neighbors' yard to get some extra practice in over the next few weeks.

Gone Fishing

Aliya has discovered the fun and excitement of fishing off the dock at camp. She hasn't caught anything edible yet but we're keeping the faith.


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Arthur and Word Girl

Word Girl and Arthur made an appearance at OSV over Labor Day weekend so we stopped by for the last visit of the summer. We had a great time as usual. The exposure therapy seems to be working because Norah wouldn't leave poor Word Girl alone until she got at least 15 high-5's. She wasn't too sure about Arthur though.




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Here's a Cute One...

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."

That reminds me of a conversation I had with Adlani's friend's mom, a 5th grade health teacher. She was telling me about the questions her students have asked her (which, by the way, reaffirmed my opinion that we should never see the health teacher on the list of budget cuts again). During the segment on menstruation, one of the boys asked, "Are you sure it's blood that comes out?" When the teacher assured him that it is indeed blood, he asked, "Are you sure it's not blue juice?" Think about it...every commercial for sanitary napkins and tampons shows blue juice. Why is that? Something to think about.
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Attack with a Deadly...Sausage??

I was headed for bed when I decided to check my favorite news site before turning in, and it's a good thing I did or I might have missed this amazing story from the Daily Telegram:


Weirdest Burglary Ever?
September 07, 2008 12:00am

A BURGLAR who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he ran out the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

Lieutenant Ian Burrimond of Fresno County, California, described the crime as one of the strangest he had ever heard of.

He said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.

Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.

"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID,'' Burrimond said.

Arrested was Antonio Vasquez, 22, of Fresno.

Burrimond said deputies were dispatched to the victims' home in the 300 block of South Thompson Avenue near Kings Canyon Road shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.

The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying spices to one of the them and striking the other with a sausage.

Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.

After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.

Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

"That's right, the dog ate the weapon,'' Burrimond said.

"I tell you, this was one weird case.''

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24307571-5001021,00.html
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Karaoke!

When I was growing up I had high aspirations of being a back-up singer. I liked singing and I thought I sounded ok (like every teenage girl singing into her hairbrush), but I was waaaaayyyyyy too shy to be in the spotlight. Well, somewhere along the line I accidentally became a hardware consultant, but I still sing along with the iPod at full volume. A few weeks ago Aliya asked me if I was too old to be on American Idol. Alas, until I can audition for the Senior Citizen version, I had to find a way to occupy myself. I know some of you won't believe this, but last night I sang karaoke for the first time in my life. Luckily I had Mercedes and Jasmine (Pam and Jenny) as distractions so I didn't faint. What made me decide to lose my karaoke virginity was the realization that most people singing karaoke are terrible, and most of the spectators are tone-deaf. We were wishing we were completely deaf during some of the performances.

Here's Lana's reaction to a singer so bad that the karaoke host was "helping" by singing along. He wasn't helpful enough. During this performance I heard Gia say, "Well, she's no Lori G, I know that!" :-)



And here's Lana cheering on Jasmine and Lacy's rendition of Mary Chapin Carpenter's "I Feel Lucky" (dramatization).



I wonder how many karaoke nights it will take until I'm shopping at BJ's and a fellow shopper gives "Lacy" a High-5.
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Happy Ramadan!!

It's that time again...Ramadan began on September 1st and will continue for the next 30 days. If you have any questions about Ramadan, you can refer to last year's post:
http://lockmommy.blogspot.com/2007/09/ramadan-faq.html

If you have new questions, I'll do my best to answer them. If you're wondering how Miss Norah feels about Ramadan, SHE LOVES IT!!!


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Lobsterfest

We enjoyed one of the last days in the ce-ment pond last weekend. It was a feast of burgers, dogs, sausages, fresh tuna steaks, and just when we were all stuffed, the lobsters arrived. Maren taught the girls how to hypnotize the lobsters for a less traumatic steaming experience. When one of the girls asked if she could give it a try, Maren said, "You can try, but I don't know if you have *the power*..." So funny.

Lana and Larry...thank you again for all your hospitality. You ROCK!!!







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