Bad Boy Bad Boy, Whatcha Gonna Do?

This was the scene in front of our house at about 1:30 this morning. I was answering email when I noticed that our neighbor's motion sensor light was on (yes, Nikki, Leah, and Nancy - this was the activity in your driveway while you were asleep). There was one cop in front of our house, and two more pulled up about 30 seconds later. They cuffed the two 20-somethings in a car parked in my neighbor's driveway. The guy got arrested for DUI after refusing the breathalyzer and the girl wandered off, presumably to find a ride home. The car was picked up by a wrecker and the neighborhood is quiet and peaceful once again. I guess I can go to sleep now.
The perp didn't do as well on his field sobriety test as this guy:


But he passed with flying colors compared to this guy who apparently had a crack problem too:



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They're Going Back!!!

Today was Aliya's first day of school (first grade), and parent orientation for Adlani's Spanish immersion preschool class which starts Tuesday. Back-to-School time is even better this year than last because the kids will all be in the same schools/daycare as last year, so even though they're transitioning back from summer at home we don't have to deal with the uncertainty and anxiety of new schools and unfamiliar procedures. I am so PSYCHED to get back into a routine, and it was great to see all of the teachers again. Aliya obsessed about her first-day outfit (note the color-coordinated underwear and Hannah Montana socks) and had a hard time falling asleep, but she came home giddy with excitement. Adlani is insisting that he hates school because of naptime. Aliya told me this morning that I love back-to-school time because I want to get them out of the house and have peace. She's a smart little bugger. I hope I can disguise my glee until after morning drop-off on Tuesday.



Here's one of my favorite commercials of all time which captures the essence of back-to-school:


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Loved It!

I don't know what made me pick up this book other than that it was on the "buy 2, get 1 free" table at Barnes and Noble. It was great! Here's the review from Publishers Weekly:

Former academic Setterfield pays tribute in her debut to Brontë and du Maurier heroines: a plain girl gets wrapped up in a dark, haunted ruin of a house, which guards family secrets that are not hers and that she must discover at her peril. Margaret Lea, a London bookseller's daughter, has written an obscure biography that suggests deep understanding of siblings. She is contacted by renowned aging author Vida Winter, who finally wishes to tell her own, long-hidden, life story. Margaret travels to Yorkshire, where she interviews the dying writer, walks the remains of her estate at Angelfield and tries to verify the old woman's tale of a governess, a ghost and more than one abandoned baby. With the aid of colorful Aurelius Love, Margaret puzzles out generations of Angelfield: destructive Uncle Charlie; his elusive sister, Isabelle; their unhappy parents; Isabelle's twin daughters, Adeline and Emmeline; and the children's caretakers. Contending with ghosts and with a (mostly) scary bunch of living people, Setterfield's sensible heroine is, like Jane Eyre, full of repressed feeling—and is unprepared for both heartache and romance. And like Jane, she's a real reader and makes a terrific narrator. That's where the comparisons end, but Setterfield, who lives in Yorkshire, offers graceful storytelling that has its own pleasures.

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Hatoppy Tu Tu-Du!

A belated happy birthday to Adlani (4!) and ME (41!)!!! For Adlani's birthday we spent a day at Davis Farmland with the Funsecas (Shane's birthday is 9 days after Adlani's), and for mine we spent the day on the Essex (CT) steam train and boat cruise. It was tough to top my birthday activity from last year - Storyland, but at least this year Ben had the foresight to pick out a card, write something nice inside, and even buy me a gift* - a new wedding band to replace the one which matched the engagement ring that mysteriously disappeared about 6 years ago. At least I don't look like an unwed mother of 3 any more.

*For anyone who thinks I'm being mean to poor Ben (again)...last year he didn't buy me a card (or acknowledge my 40th birthday in any way) even though he made a late-night run to the CVS down the road from Storyland to buy "supplies". Last time I checked, the "supplies" are not too far from the greeting card aisle. It still bugs me but I guess it's time to let it go.









We also celebrated Isabel's 7th birthday at Pump It Up. Adlani is insistent that he's going to marry Isabel and they're going to live in a submarine. Aliya asked him, "What if she's mean when she grows up?" I added, "Or ugly?" Adlani calmly and firmly stated, "She will be my wife." If Norah has her way there may be a double wedding. That Baby Billy is a cutie!




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Pageturner

My coworker Jeremy showed me this picture on Monday and I've been thinking about it all week. He took it while driving 65 on the highway (I won't go into a lecture on taking photos while driving since there were extenuating circumstances). Now I'll admit, I've tried to read directions while driving and I sometimes put on makeup at red lights, but Danielle Steel in Boston traffic?! Come on!

Surprisingly, one survey reported 26% of respondents had seen another driver reading while driving. How could you live with yourself if you caused an accident because you couldn't put down your Danielle Steel novel long enough to drive home and pour yourself a glass of wine?

If my brother Brady is reading this he'll add a comment about when I was in high school and I would make him steer the car while I applied my makeup on the way to school. I also used to slam on the brakes and scream just to see if I could get him to pee his pants. I only went in the ditch one time, but at some point I decided it was time to get serious to avoid killing or maiming anyone. At least until Aliya's old enough to sit in the front and hold the wheel steady while I'm otherwise occupied.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2007/05/27/behind_the_wheel_on_the_phone_styling_hair/
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Bad Mommy

Whenever I have my "bad mommy" moments...when I let the kids eat chicken mcnuggets for lunch AND dinner or send them to their rooms because I can't listen to them for one more minute, I just check in with my favorite news source (http://nuttynuttynews.blogspot.com/) to remind myself that there are mommies who are way badder than me:

Mom Arrested for Having 12-year-old Drive Her to a Bar, Police Say

LONGVIEW, Texas — A 35-year-old Texas woman has been jailed after police say she made her 12-year-old daughter drive her to a bar.

Police in Longview say they watched a minivan turn into a driveway without signaling on Wednesday and bump into a home at a low speed. They say the car was driven by Jennifer Lynn Rosenberg's daughter.

Police say the girl told an officer she had just dropped her mother off at a bar. They say they found Rosenburg at the bar and that she admitted having her daughter drive her there.

Rosenburg remains in the Gregg County Jail on a $2,500 bond. A jail official declined to say whether she had an attorney.

A spokeswoman for Child Protective Services told the Longview News-Journal that the agency is investigating.

This just in:

Too young? Preteen girls get leg, bikini waxes
Moms are bringing daughters to spas for hair removal before puberty

Philadelphia aesthetician Melanie Engle, whose specialty is eyebrow shaping, is no stranger to odd requests. But nothing prepared her for being asked by one client to book a bikini wax appointment for her 8-year-old daughter.

"The first thing I had to do was try and stay calm, and not yell ‘What are you thinking?’ ” said Engle. “This wasn’t about the girl developing hair early — it was the mother’s obsession with wanting her daughter to be a supermodel.”

Waxing body hair — from the simple shaping of an eyebrow arch to the painful transformation of the bikini line — has long been a rite of passage for adult women. But now, more mothers around the U.S. are taking their tweens — kids 10 to 12 years old and some even younger — to salons to get body hair removed.

“For waxing, 12 years old is the ‘new normal,’ ” Engle said.

The International Spa Association reports that 16 percent of teens who have visited a spa have had a hair removal procedure done, but the organization has no numbers for younger children because they aren’t allowed to survey them. Several salon owners around the country told TODAYshow.com that the number of kids 12 and under coming in for waxing services has increased dramatically over the past three years.

“There is a huge demand for waxing,” said Diane Fisher, owner of Eclips Salon and Eclips Kids Day Spa in McLean and Ashburn, Va., both Washington, D.C., suburbs. “Some kids do have a lot of hair. A 10-year-old with a dark mustache is going to feel self-conscious, and is going to ask for waxing.”

Nearly 20 percent of the clients that Nance Mitchell sees for bikini waxes in her Beverly Hills, Calif., salon are tweens, she says.

"The increase began a couple of years ago,” said Mitchell, who has been doing bikini waxes for more than 30 years. “Some kids come in with their mothers when the mothers are getting waxed, so they want to do it too. One 10-year-old had thick hair coming down her leg, and she had a bikini and leg wax because she couldn’t go to camp like that without getting teased.”

Developing younger or too young for comfort?Medical professionals say that there isn’t any known increase in medical complications when young girls get waxed, and that because they are younger when they develop, girls nowadays may be growing hair at an earlier age.

“It’s not uncommon for girls to get their period at 9 or 10 years old, and with that development comes increased hair growth,” said Dr. Doris Pastor, a clinical associate professor of pediatrics at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. “The waxing itself is not an issue; the bigger issue is whether they are encouraged to engage in risky behaviors.”

Some salons even advertise their services for young girls. One New York City salon, Wanda’s European Skin Care Center, boasts on its Web site that children 8 years and older can get discounted waxing for “virgin” hair. “Virgin hair can be waxed so successfully that growth can be permanently stopped in just 2 to 6 sessions. Save your child a lifetime of waxing ... and put the money in the bank for her college education instead!” the salon proclaims.

The owner could not be reached for comment, but did tell the New York Post that she has seen more than 200 kid clients this year and that kids should begin waxing at 6 years old.
Engle says that the mothers who bring their daughters in for waxing come in two varieties: those who are concerned because their children are being teased about their body hair, and those she calls “perfectionists.”

“Sometimes mothers are clearly overcritical,” Engle said. “While I’m doing the child’s eyebrows, a mother will stand behind me and say, ‘Look at those blackheads, you need to have a facial, you need to go on Accutane.’ ”

Fisher, whose Eclips Kids Day Spa doesn’t defuzz bikini lines on younger children, does see four to five girls, mostly 10- to 14-year-olds, each week for other waxing procedures. The most common service is eyebrow shaping, though some mothers will request removal of body hair for their children. She says that she does see overbearing mothers who pressure their daughters to look “perfect.”

“I had a mother who brought her daughter in, pulled up her shirt and asked us to wax the girl’s back. The hair didn’t seem to be bothering the little girl, but the mom was embarrassed and wanted it done,” Fisher recounted. “I told the mom to wait until the child wanted it, but she refused.” The girl, Fisher added, was 6 years old.

A parent’s dilemma

For others, like Wanda Ramos, permitting their kids to get waxed is a way to stop them from being harassed by classmates. Her daughter, Gabriella, used to complain about the taunts and teases from kids who called her “unibrow” and “deformed” because she was hairy.

Finally, Ramos, who lives in Ashburn, Va., decided to end her daughter’s torment at 12 years old, allowing her to get her eyebrows waxed.

“It made a big difference,” Ramos said. “She feels more confident and other kids don’t make fun of her anymore — she gets compliments on how she looks now.”

But some experts say using hair removal to boost self-esteem is a bad bet.

“Girls are learning the worst possible lessons about body image and body hair,” said Dr. Diane Levin, professor of education at Wheelock College in Boston and co-author of the book “So Sexy So Soon.” “Keep your bodies like little girls’ because that’s what men like.”

So how do parents respond when their children want to remove body hair at a young age?

“Have talks about bodies and how bodies change,” Levin said. “Let them know that hair is normal, despite the images that they see, and hear what you daughter has to say — this should be a give-and-take conversation.

Ultimately Levin says, the trend of tweens waxing is indicative of bigger issues, including the sexualizing of young girls.

“Girls shouldn’t be taught so early to focus on how they look and that things like money, makeup and looking good buy happiness, instead of the skills that they possess,” Levin said. “Should parents feed into that negativity or create an environment to help girls resist it?”
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Castle Island

We had a beautiful picnic tonight at Castle Island in South Boston. We met our friends from Texas (The Steeds) there, and it was a great spot for the kids to run around and tire themselves out. There's quite a bit of parking including lots of spots along the beach. There's a take-out restaurant right next to the parking lot if you don't feel like hauling a picnic along. The beach was full of hermit crabs but luckily we didn't come home with any new pets...as far as I know. We didn't tour Fort Independence this time, but the Castle Island Association does offer tours on weekend afternoons during the summer. The playground has been recently updated and the kids had a ton of fun playing there. There are plenty of picnic tables and grass...even though there were lots of people there it didn't feel crowded. The planes flying low on their way into Logan were an excellent diversion, especially when it got dark and Adlani insisted that he saw an alien ship. Add in public restrooms conveniently located near (but not too near) the picnic tables and a gorgeous sunset...what could be better than that? We stayed until the kids' injuries became too frequent and then called it a (wonderful) day. Even Ben, who had complained the entire trip there about the traffic, agreed that it was a great choice.

http://www.mass.gov/dcr/parks/metroboston/castle.htm

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The Rainbow Connection

Last weekend on our way home from camp we saw a beautiful rainbow. It appeared as soon as we got on the highway and disappeared as we got off the exit at home. Aliya commented that maybe God let Bernie shake down some sprinkles to make the rainbow for us. On the way from Albany to camp with Ginny less than a week later there were 3 rainbow sightings. As it turns out there are many myths about rainbows and heaven, so maybe Aliya's idea isn't such a crazy one.

Here are some myths relating to rainbows: http://www.zianet.com/rainbow/frrelig.htm
Here are some gorgeous rainbow photos: http://www.missouriskies.org/rainbow/february_rainbow_2006.html
Here are some accounts of ADC's (after-death communications), with rainbows being the second most common example (after butterflies): http://butterflywebsite.com/discover/bfliesandrainbows.cfm

Several years before my grandmother died, I wrote to her that I wanted her to try to send me a sign after her death. We never discussed it but during her funeral I was out in the vestibule with Aliya, who was about 19 months old. I looked out the front doors of the church and saw 3 signs directly across the street. The signs said, "OK Services", "The Hairafter", and "Family Fun Time." I've always thought that was my sign from her...I could just picture her in the hereafter having fun with her family. I guess she thought the funeral service was just "ok". :-) The day Bernie died I was laying in bed in our hotel room with my knees up, halfway between awake and asleep. I felt a hand on my knee and I heard Bernie say, "I love ya, kid." It may have been a dream or my imagination, but I choose to believe it was Bernie telling me he loved me one last time.

Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, The Rainbow Connection:

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbows are visions, they're only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide

So we've been told and some choose to believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it
And look what it's done so far

What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
What do we think we might see
Someday we'll find it, that rainbow connection
The lovers the dreamers and me

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Are these the sweet sounds that called the young sailors
I think they're one and the same

I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that I'm supposed to be
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me



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F*** It! Chuck It!

I spent 3 hours this afternoon getting rid of the piles and piles of paper in my office. We filled a huge dumpster and a gigantic recycling bin with stuff from our 5000 SF office space and it's hard to tell that anything's gone. Some of it was painful to let go of, so whenever someone hesitated ("Maybe someone could use this someday...") we would yell out our new motto which is inappropriate for my younger blog readers, so don't get me in trouble with your moms by repeating it. I went through at least 10 stacks of paper a foot high each, plus 3 big boxes which I had hidden under my desk during previous clean-ups, 20 rolls of blueprints, and other assorted junk. I hesitated over a whoopie cushion but Jeremy reminded me that it had been replaced with my remote-control fart machine (more about that in another post). I did save the Von Duprin glasses I'm sporting in the picture. If you're not a hardware nerd you may not know that Von Duprin manufactures the Cadillac of panic hardware (the things you push on to open the door of the school). Apparently someone thought sunglasses with the Von Duprin logo would inspire customers to buy lots of panic hardware.
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The most amazing thing I found is my monthly budget from 1992...the good old days when life was simple...no mortgage, no day care, not even a room-mate. I actually budgeted for clothes ($200/month) and CD's ($50/month)! I had a plan for paying off all of my debts with the next few paychecks, except my $2500 student loan. Times have changed.

Rent...................$550
Student Loan........$61
Phone..................$40
Electric................$50
Food..................$200
Credit Cards.......$200
Magazines...........$18
Gas Bill................$15
Haircut.................$25
CD's....................$50
Clothes..............$200
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Grand Total........$1409
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As We Age... (Thanks Dana!)

Since I work in a male-dominated industry and some of the men I work with seem to have forgotten that I'm actually female, I have experienced some of their quirks from the perspective of a fly on the wall. Like the time one of my coworkers who shall go unamed lifted a cheek and ripped a big fart even though I was sitting at the next desk. One male behavior that has always amazed me is when they criticize random women on the street..."She could afford to skip a meal"...when they are in no position to be throwing stones, if you know what I mean.

This email struck a chord:

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old? Well...you'll love this one...

My name Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.

This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1975. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat assed, grey-haired, decrepit, son-of-a-bitch asked: "What did you teach?"
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The Lace Reader

If you're looking for a good book to spend the weekend with, head over to BJ's and pick up The Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry. I couldn't put it down and it's going on the "keep" shelf so you'll have to go get your own.

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Here's the review from Amazon:

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Amazon Best of the Month, August 2008: Brunonia Barry dreamt she saw a prophecy in a piece of lace, a vision so potent she spun it into a novel. The Lace Reader retains the strange magic of a vivid dream, though Barry's portrayal of modern-day Salem, Massachusetts--with its fascinating cast of eccentrics--is reportedly spot-on. Some of its stranger residents include generations of Whitney women, with a gift for seeing the future in the lace they make. Towner Whitney, back to Salem from self-imposed exile on the West Coast, has plans for recuperation that evaporate with her great-aunt Eva's mysterious drowning. Fighting fear from a traumatic adolescence she can barely remember, Towner digs in for answers. But questions compound with the disappearance of a young woman under the thrall of a local fire-and-brimstone preacher, whose history of violence against Whitney women makes the situation personal for Towner. Her role in cop John Rafferty's investigation sparks a tentative romance. And as they scramble to avert disaster, the past that had slipped through the gaps in Towner's memory explodes into the present with a violence that capsizes her concept of truth. Readers will look back at the story in a new light, picking out the clues in this complex, lovely piece of work. --Mari Malcolm

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Oopsie...

JERUSALEM (AFP) - A four-year-old girl was left behind at Israel's Ben Gurion international airport on Sunday as her mother, father and four siblings rushed to catch a flight to Paris, police said.

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"I saw a little girl in tears. She was looking for her parents," a policewoman told reporters.

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"Luckily she was able to give me her name. I grabbed her and ran to the gates but it was too late," the plane had just taken off, she said.

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According to police, the girl's parents only realised she was missing when the pilot of the plane informed them just as the aircraft was taking off.

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"It is usual that travellers in a rush forget their luggage but not a child. This never happens," a police official said.

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The incident was a stark reminder of the US box office hit "Home Alone" in which a little boy was accidentally left alone as his family rushed to the airport and flew to Paris for a Christmas holiday.

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But unlike the movie, there was a happy ending for the little girl who was able to join her parents. She was flown to Paris on the next flight out accompanied by a flight attendant.

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The forgetful parents will be interrogated by the authorities upon their return home and risk being indicted for negligence, police said.

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