OK...Just One More Random Thing

CARROLL, Iowa, Oct. 29 (UPI) -- Two men arrested for attempting to break into an apartment in an Iowa town had crudely painted their faces black with permanent marker, police say.

Carroll police said a woman called 911 at 11:32 p.m. Friday to report two men trying to break into an apartment and officers soon after pulled over a car matching the description given by the woman, the Carroll Daily Times Herald reported Thursday.

Police said Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20, whose faces were blackened with permanent marker, were arrested without incident and charged with second-degree attempted burglary. McNelly was also charged with a count of driving while intoxicated.

The men were released on bond Monday and are due in court for preliminary hearings Nov. 10.

One More Random Thing...

Random

Did you know you could buy caskets on Walmart.com?
That seems odd to me.  What's next...Walmart selling door closers?

I've been wondering whether it takes more water to wash dishes in the dishwasher or by hand.  I'm happy to report that it appears that the dishwasher is as efficient as or more efficient than hand-washing.
It's right here on the internet so it must be true:  http://1greengeneration.elementsintime.com/?p=314

There's a rumor going around that Norah's classroom aide Ivette has finally had her baby.  Norah is a little perturbed that the baby's name will be "Pumpkinhead" as voted on by the class, instead of her suggestion - "Baby Puke."

I had a webinar at 9 p.m.  When Aliya asked me why it was so late I said it was because there were people in China on the webinar.  She wondered how I would understand the webinar in Chinese.

Adlani has been doing a little better in the classroom but had to sit out during music today.  Ben said it's because music class is for girls.  That is NOT helpful!

I have been taking a class on Adobe Flash, which is the software program that makes many of the cool animations and web-ads with moving text, changing colors, and stuff flying around.  I am old enough to be my teacher's mother, but even though I'm no spring chicken, I've picked it up pretty easily and I think I can do some cool things with it.  Now I just need more hours in the day.

Uncle Josh and Auntie Rachael made it home from Spain and are sleeping off a long day of travel.

Check out this police video:

Spookyworld

What can I say? Really. Where would I start?

Halloween Party. Pam & Ted's. Last Saturday Night. Theme: Music. Complete. Mayhem.

If anyone would like eyeshades added or removed, just let me know.  I was instructed to hide the identity of certain partygoers and at this point I can't really remember who wanted to be anonymous.  Next year, wear a mask.  I'm pretty sure the entire PTO is going to recognize you anyway.

l

Wicked Birthday

As tradition dictates, we had Aliya's birthday dinner at Bugaboo Creek.  As an extra surprise, I was in Providence on Friday for work and I saw signs for an upcoming performance of Wicked, which Aliya and I saw two years ago.  We loved the show and we've been wanting to see it again.  I checked with the box office to see if the show was sold out, and there were great seats available so I bought 2 tickets for Aliya's birthday.  I'm really excited about going, so it's a gift for me too!

Aliya wrote a thank-you note on her white board - so cute!

"Dear mom + dad but mostle mom i hope you get a chance to read this iven thow it is have way in my dirty room this was the best birthday ever and all never forget it and the presint was iven beter, i cant belive i am going to wiked with mom again.  You gise are the best parentes a girl cold want, and mom thankyou so much for the sleeepover it was realy fun and dad thanks for trieng to crush my party that was cute, you guies are the best of the best.

Love your birthday girl, Aliya

My Parents Rock!  Ouyaaa!"

.

Three Strikes

Well, they can't say I didn't warn them.  All of the teachers at school think Aliya is just *wonderful* and I made it perfectly clear that Adlani did not inherit the "Teacher's Pet" gene.  A) He's a boy, B) He's 10 months younger than Aliya was when she was in kindergarten, and C) He's Adlani. 

Yesterday we got the bad news three times that Adlani is being disruptive, not listening, and not following the rules.  I don't know if it was coincidental or a coordinated effort, but first the bus driver told Ben that Adlani had run off during the evacuation drill.  Then Adlani's kindergarten teacher called and told Ben what was going on in the classroom, which I later heard roughly half of.  Finally, his music teacher called and left a message that she had to have Adlani sit out of class twice for being disruptive. 

I honestly have no idea how to deal with this.  I think Adlani figured out that by adopting the "class clown" persona, he could get positive attention from the other kids by being silly.  The problem is that he's disrupting the class, he does little or none of his work during school, and I'm sure he's driving the teachers insane.  I asked our pediatrician why he acts this way with a group but is a completely different kid one-on-one, and he said, "because he doesn't have an audience when it's just the two of you." 

I'm at a loss.  I just hope he gets his act together soon so he doesn't end up repeating kindergarten.  I thought he was off the payroll. 
.

American Boy

Sometimes when I'm joking around with the kids they take me seriously, like the time Aliya asked me what the sign with the P and a circle with a line on it meant and I said, "No peeing."  Those fibs always seem to resurface, long after I've forgotten about them.  I guess I should be more careful.

Today Adlani said, "Let's go to the American Girl Doll Store!  That place is so much fun!"  WTF?  Since when does Adlani like American Girl dolls?  And when did he ever GO to the AG store?  He reminded me that his friend Ailadis had her birthday party there.  I was so confused!  I knew that Adlani had gone to her party but I was positive that it wasn't at the AG store. 

I finally figured out that when we got the invitation to the party and Adlani asked me where it was going to be, I told him it would be at the AG store just to freak him out.  So for the last month he's been thinking that he had a hell of a time at the AG store, when her party was actually at a place called "Backyard Adventures."  I hope he didn't tell any of his friends how much he likes going to the AG store!
. 

Back in Business

It took about 3 hours but the countertops are in and they look great!  The only problem now is that we need all new appliances and to repaint the kitchen and family room.  It's amazing how bad everything else looks when you get something new.  Oh well.

And just because you had to look at another photo of my kitchen, here's a completely unrelated but funny video:

The Kitchen is Closed

One more day and my ten years of wishing for new countertops will be over!!  For the time being, we have no kitchen whatsoever, which really stinks!  It adds a whole new level of difficulty to getting the kids out of the house in the morning.

Ben and Orialis (our handy-guy) took the old countertops out on Sunday, and that went pretty smoothly other than the fact that there was nothing in the walls behind the backsplash.  There was a lot of patching to be done after the pry-bar went right through the sheetrock multiple times, but it wasn't really a surprise considering the workmanship of the previous owner.  Hopefully there won't be any unforeseen issues tomorrow and by dinner-time the countertops will be installed.  Orialis is coming over tomorrow night for a plumbing adventure...I'll be at my Adobe Flash class but I'll be under the sink in spirit. 

I can't wait to have countertops without cruddy grout lines!  Maybe I'll make a pie to celebrate...roll the crust right out on the counter.  YIPPEE!!!
.

The Long-Awaited Sleepover

Six Shirley Temples - $7.50

One Pot of Cheese Fondue - $17.00

Balloons & Souvenir Photo - $8.00

A lesson in romance from three second-graders...PRICELESS!!!

This conversation began because of the magnetic words that came with Aliya's souvenir photo frame at the Melting Pot, which included the word "romantic."  The girls were making sentences like, "I love chocolate," and "I hate wine."  They were talking about going on romantic dates and I asked Chloe and Hannah if that's what their parents were doing tonight.  All three agreed that "Adults DO NOT do that...only teenagers." 

I think we're in trouble.  In fact, I KNOW we're in trouble.  It's just a matter of when and where it will strike, and with who.

Gotta Get Away??

Sometimes you just have to go...take some time off...run away. 

A few weeks ago I got an email from my friend Sherry's husband, Rob.  He asked me to call him right away because he needed help with Sherry. 

As I was waiting for him to pick up the phone I wondered what kind of help he could possibly need.  Was she stuck in a tree?  Did he forget her favorite ice cream flavor?  Had she gone missing?

Rob had decided that Sherry needed a mental health break to prevent her from going postal, and he asked me if I would go away with her for a spa weekend.  "Uuuhhhh......I'LL GO PACK!!"

As soon as I found a couple of days that I could get away, he booked two nights and two massages at a hotel spa in North Conway.  He even called Sherry's office to request two days off since I couldn't find an October weekend to go.  I was extremely impressed.

So far we've eaten a lot, strolled through LL Bean, taken a nap, and have the best looking toes in New Hampshire.  My pedicurist (is that a word?) was hugely pregnant and when I asked her about the baby she said, "It's not mine."  I thought she was joking but it turned out that she's a surrogate.  We spent most of the pedicure time talking about what it was like to be a surrogate. 

It was a very interesting conversation but I'll tell you right now, for $20K I would not go through another pregnancy and birth, not to mention the emotional ramifications.  I think it's a very admirable and wonderful thing she's doing but I'll find another way to fill my good-deed quota.
.

Busier Than A One-Armed Paper Hanger

I always thought I knew what a one-armed paper hanger must feel like because I'm so friggin' busy all the time.  But NOW I REALLY know what he feels like.  I started physical therapy yesterday for my shoulder.  I don't know what I did to it originally, but it has been hurting off and on (mostly "on") for about 3 years.  I blame it on the kids sneaking into my bed and putting their extremely heavy heads on my upper arm, causing my shoulder to be in a weird position for long durations.

.

My chiropractor has a physical therapist who comes in twice a week, so he recommended that I have an appointment with her.  I didn't know what to expect and I figured it would hurt, but it hurts most of the time anyway and I have to be really careful what I do with my arm or I have a sharp pain and an ache that lasts for days.

So my new PT (Victoria) checked me out thoroughly and said that I have some sort of problem with the nerves and the muscles around my rotator cuff.  She's going to work on me but in the meantime she needs the inflammation to go down so she told me to just hold my arm at my side, a la Bob Dole. 

I mean come on...how the hell am I going to hold my right arm at my side for the next several weeks?  When I told Victoria that there's no way that was going to happen, she said, "Fine, you'll be in a sling for a while."  So I'm in a sling.  Honestly, I think it's a good thing because it's preventing me from doing all of the things I'm not supposed to do.  It did kind of ruin my outfit for my speaking engagement this evening, but I cheated and didn't wear it during the actual presentation. 

Here's hoping that Victoria can make some headway so I can have my arm back!

.

Welcome To Aliya's Room

In case you were thinking about coming over for a visit and stopping by Aliya's room, there are some rules you should know about in advance.  I don't know what happened to my rule about "no stickers on the walls, floors, doors, windows, pets, or furniture," but here are Aliya's rules:

Rules of my room
0) Wipe off your feat.
1) Never come in with shoes on.
2) No food aloud.
3) No boy's Aloud inless I tell them they can.
4) most importante - if door is shut nock 3 or 4 times before you come in if nowon ansers do not come in.
5) be palite, do not yell, do not fight, and have fun!

More Rules of my Room
6) no crieng aloud
10) use hand sanitizer or wash your hans.
7) have listening eares.
8) No name coling or tizeng.
9) be strong
.

Adios Mi Hermano y Hermana!

Uncle Josh & Auntie Rachael came to spend the weekend with us on their way to SPAIN...I'm so jealous!

We showed them a good time...a big Mexican feast followed by a little karaoke at Samba to help celebrate Jenny's birthday.

The local crazies were out in full force and I had the pleasure of singing Hopelessly Devoted to You with a woman who appeared to have taken a controlled substance (I just realized how long it's been since I've used the word "stoned").  She interjected her own lyrics including, "My head is sayin'...ooooh...just kill him, kill him...."

At Lana's request, Pam, Jenny, and I sang You Don't Bring Me Flowers...that was a first for me.  Well, the first time with an audience that was not related to me anyway.

The rest of the weekend, Uncle Josh & Auntie Rachael were just the diversion I needed.  They played multiple games of Candyland and Nintendo DS and just generally acted like they were interested in Elmo, Hannah Montana, and Scooby Doo so I didn't have to.  Last night we made couscous and today they headed for Madrid.

Lucky patos!!
.

Y-M-C-A

Norah has finally reached a milestone that I never thought I'd see.  When Adlani was a baby I was constantly marking the progress we were making...the last can of formula, moving from the (extremely heavy) infant seat to a regular car seat, and all of the typical milestones...first words, first steps, etc.  When we found out that Norah would be arriving in about 8 months, I had been obsessively counting the months until we'd be done with "double-day care."  We started focusing much less on the milestones, either because all hell had broken loose and we barely had the time to notice anything, or because we were superstitious that if we started counting the months of double-day care again we'd get another little surprise.  

.

Well, we finally made it to one kid in day care (actually preschool) a few months ago (don't worry...we haven't let our guard down) and Norah recently reached a milestone that I was SO EXCITED about...she can go to swimming lessons without one of us getting into the pool with her.  No more suiting up for 8 a.m. lessons on Saturday morning.  No more walking around with the swim cap imprint on my head.  No more looking at hairy daddies in the pool.  YIPPEE!!!  YAY Norah!
.

"Kiwi Herman has a P-nis..."

Norah has been obsessed with "private areas" for a long time.  Now she is also obsessed with "Kiwi Herman" and carries around this 20-year-old Pee-Wee Herman doll that used to say annoying stuff like "I know you are but what am I?" when you pulled the string.

For a while now, whenever a boy is seen or mentioned, Norah points out that he has a p-nis.  If I say, "Hey, there's John walking his dog Charlie," Norah says, "John has a p-nis...and Charlie has a p-nis too."  She doesn't talk much about what girls have...she divides the world into two groups - with p-nis or without p-nis.

In preschool, Norah likes to play Spanish Bingo, which she calls "Yo Tengo!" ("I've got it!") because that's what they say when they have a picture on their Bingo card that matches the picture on the "grande card".  If the teacher pulls out the grande card with the glasses on it, whoever has a picture of glasses on their Bingo card yells, "Yo tengo!"

So today out of the blue Norah says, "When we play Yo Tengo, and Maria takes out a grande card and says 'Who has a p-nis?', the boys can say, 'Yo Tengo!' " 

Where is this obsession coming from?  And more importantly, is it going to end before she hits puberty??
.